Tag Archives: relationships

Playing Catch Up

I was raised by a preset of societal norms and expectations in the name of proper education.

At the time, it seemed to have fit me best. I was never questioning, I was never critical, and I accepted all that was taught onto me by default. I never challenged the status quo, I never wanted to deviate from the ideal stance.

That would have been alright and well except for the fact that my values evolve as I become more in touch with myself, and I had to unlearn everything I know about societal norms and expectations.

And I’m suddenly in middle school again, trying to play catch up with my friends who are now in their twenties and seem to have less of a problem in building relationships, meeting people, and socializing in situations that are outside formal institutional settings.

Unlearning and relearning the ropes is a tough process, especially when everyone seems ahead of you in the game. I fought to suppress it for a while, to try and logically learn about how people normally act at my age and just jump through the process.

Until I realized I couldn’t do that. I wish there was a shortcut because I just feel horribly immature around the people I interact with. But then I realize it’s a process, and I would have to go through it nevertheless, just–in my best friend’s words–at “warp speed”.

So I’ll let my heart skip a beat, I’ll let my stomach flutter. I’ll stumble and fumble and catch myself when I stutter. I’ll allow myself to smile at a text and daydream of the next.

I’ll embrace the process and live in it. Hopefully, I’ll catch up with you guys soon.

On repeat: In The Heights soundtrack

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When People are Better Than Reindeers

open-uri20150608-27674-y9qnwu_58c7bc04Because occasionally the consensus is raindeers are better than people. Image courtesy of Disney.

A friend once asked me what I value most. These are the sort of questions I ask and get for ice-breakers with new people. I told her, I value relationships with people. I personally feel that almost anything is temporary and subject to change within a few years of technological advances, and so what I feel are precious aren’t those that necessarily last (e.g. a tangible item or a social system). Relationships and interaction with people are what evoke most of my emotions and has an intensity like no other, and they’re what make me feel most human-like, what with the confusion and the irrationality and the stupid and crazy things you do out of love and hate and pride and defeat. So when I had a few days in Hong Kong before I departed for a semester-long exchange, I did just that.

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Someone vs. The Idea of Someone: The Mix-Up

How many times have you heard a break-up reason being, “Oh, I was in love with the idea of a boyfriend, but not my the person who is actually my current (and soon-to-be ex-) boyfriend.”? This concept of someone vs. the idea of someone has really got me thinking, because how often do we mix up the two?

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