On Having Faith in the Universe

I really did not think it through when I decided to spend my 21st birthday alone. It was a milestone age I’ve been low-key looking forward to hit and one impulsive decision after another led me to waking up in a dimly-lit hostel room because the lamp was broken and my room was located in the basement.

There are so many instances this year that really left me wondering if I took a right turn or if I just completely swerved off the highway without realizing it until it was too late and I was low on gas. I never thought I would dread spending my birthday alone. After all, I’ve always been (and probably will continue being) sort of a lone ranger. I tried to rationalize my frightened feelings by blaming it on my fatigue, but I have never felt so afraid of spending one day alone.

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Here’s to the People Who Grew Up with Pity

Here’s to the people who grew up with pity.

In particular, to the people who those who had to come face-to-face with sad looks from their classmates’ mothers,
who felt like these children took a wrong step along the way and went astray,
who felt like these children deserved more education from their parents,
who felt like these children could have been better people,
who felt sorry for these children,
but silently say to themselves, “thank goodness these aren’t my children.”

(“It’s too bad her father died. Now she has ‘daddy issues’ and can never cope with life.”) Continue reading

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A Nomad’s Desires

I want to see the world.
I want to see snow fall and sakura flowers bloom. I want to hop on a plane and feel the exhilaration of landing somewhere I have never set foot before. I want to breathe in the fresh air of different countrysides and get lost in the crowds of shuffling people in New York, Tokyo, Barcelona. I want to taste different flavors and relate different scents to different places and make memories in weather conditions I have never imagined could be humanly possible. I could be overdressed or underdressed but my heart would be warm when I chuckle at myself for being so silly. Continue reading

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