I want to see the world.
I want to see snow fall and sakura flowers bloom. I want to hop on a plane and feel the exhilaration of landing somewhere I have never set foot before. I want to breathe in the fresh air of different countrysides and get lost in the crowds of shuffling people in New York, Tokyo, Barcelona. I want to taste different flavors and relate different scents to different places and make memories in weather conditions I have never imagined could be humanly possible. I could be overdressed or underdressed but my heart would be warm when I chuckle at myself for being so silly.
I want to move around.
I want to pick up the world’s different versions of hola and wonder if there exists another word that is just as versatile and useful as 唔該 (“uhm khoy”). I want to be accustomed to national dishes and unique parades. I want to work like crazy but also party like crazy. I want to celebrate the different new years based off of different calendars. I want to live in houses or flats or studio apartments or whatever it is the city people are living in. I want to cook with indigenous ingredients and never be able to replicate the same dish twice.
I want to meet more people.
I want to join meet-ups and attend local spoken-word poetry gatherings and end my week with yoga as the sun sets. I want to talk to hear people’s stories and dance alongside them while we take in the sunshine of the day and the beauty of the night. I want to listen to different accents and understand each’s backstory. I want to meet people who work in different professions and hear about their daily routines. I want to meet different people but I want more to meet people who are more like me. People who feel like they no longer belong anywhere. People who feel like they belong everywhere. People who find their belonging within each other.
I want to settle down.
The world is dynamic and opportunities are out there but moving around is tiring. Packing your life into two suitcases and throwing everything else away takes up more than just your physical energy. Visa applications are complicated and green passports go hand-in-hand with “random airport checks”. One day I am going to be tired of it all. One day I’d wish the change is not so constant and would long for a bit of stability. I want to have a family. I want a treehouse and a backyard and frisbee in the park. I want to wake up on a Sunday morning and go for a hike or ride around in bikes with the people I cherish most. We’d joke around the dinner table and frame family portraits on the wall, nailing them down to symbolize a sort of permanence.
But until those days come, to the world I go.
Blueaholic is listening to: Ed Sheeran – Barcelona
(Las Ramblas, I’ll meet you / We’ll dance around La Sagrada Familia / Drinking Sangría / Mi niña, te amo mi cariño)