Adversity and Its Hierarchy

Adversity is universal. Everyone deals with difficulties (or challenges, as some people like to call it) at different stages in their lives and at one point or another, people will have to deal with them when they’re not “supposed to” (e.g. in the middle of the semester, or when there’s a groundbreaking company deal that’s going through, or during exam period, or during a really important work project). These difficulties cannot be equated for everyone because no two people deal with the loss of a loved one or anxiety the same way.

Adversity is universal, but when you’re nobody and at the bottom, you’re not supposed to let any personal issues get in the way of your productivity and your work. No boss or mentor or teacher is going to let you slack off (too much) because you need to take a moment to stabilize your emotions when deadlines are closing in. No, no, any shifting in deadlines on a very low level of the company hierarchy will cause too many problems going up the chain and too many bureaucratic barriers are in place for any second-lowest level boss to make moves in.

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On #FreeAhok and Lost Dreams

Once upon a time, I had a dream to create an NGO that would improve Indonesia’s education system.

Over the course of a few years, the vision inflated and deflated. There are times where I narrowed it down to wanting to patch up the curriculum, and there are days where I thought I should take a step back and maybe do something smaller than trying to change the whole nation.

Lately, though, it hasn’t even been a question of what my aspirations are, but more on whether or not I actually can.

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On Having Faith in the Universe

I really did not think it through when I decided to spend my 21st birthday alone. It was a milestone age I’ve been low-key looking forward to hit and one impulsive decision after another led me to waking up in a dimly-lit hostel room because the lamp was broken and my room was located in the basement.

There are so many instances this year that really left me wondering if I took a right turn or if I just completely swerved off the highway without realizing it until it was too late and I was low on gas. I never thought I would dread spending my birthday alone. After all, I’ve always been (and probably will continue being) sort of a lone ranger. I tried to rationalize my frightened feelings by blaming it on my fatigue, but I have never felt so afraid of spending one day alone.

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